Monday, January 25, 2010
2 weeks ago
So 2 weeks ago I was in the hospital giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. Well maybe I should go back more then 2 weeks. So 10 months ago I was being like any other 21 year old, going to the bars. Well one night I was walking to my friends place only a couple blocks from the bar when a car came up beside me. They rolled down their window and a guy started hitting on me, I was drunk so of course I was kinda flatered. Well he convinced me to come with him to the hotle that happened to be right across the street from my friends palce. And i am sure you all can guess what happened. Well about 3 weeks later I had yet to start my period so I took a pregnancy test and there it was in words PREGNANT. I honestly cried, I was so scared cause one- I am single two-I had a very poor job and three- how was I going to raise a child on my own with no place to really live once my room mates found out I was pregnant. Well things decided to become even more crazy. I was still going out to the bar to dance and hang out with my friends but I did stop smoking and drinking. Well guess who I saw there? The guy who got me pregnant, well I told him that I was and that he was the father. Lets just say he was not very happy, He told me to get an abortion, I told him NO, and after that he called me a bunch of bad names saying I was ruining his and my life if I keep the baby and that it was my fault. Well gladly I have not seen him since. so to add a little side note I am LDS (latter-day saint) . I was not sure what to do if I should keep the baby or do adoption. Some people said keep her, some said do adoption, and other said just do what you feel is right. So I spent many many months praying on what to do, and never got an answer till one day. I decided that I was going to keep her and said to god "if this is not the right thing you will let me know." Well the next day I lost my job so I think it was safe to say that I was not really ment to keep her. The funny thing is though I felt so good that I got an answer that adoption didnt bother me one bit. So a few weeks after that I got on an adoptive service and started looking for a couple. I made an account and due to the things I wanted and the things that other people were looking for it left me with 9 couples. I looked at them and I narrowed it down to two couples. Well one was just so great and the other was good but something was still missing. So i decided to send the couple I felt great about a message. The next day I got a reply and we started snding messages back and forth a few times and that was all it took. After only a few times talking I was sure they were the ones and I made it official by telling both them and my caseworker. They were so happy and still are to this day. So the last few months of my pragnancy I spent it emailing and talking on the phone with them getting to know them more and them getting to know me more. They are such a wounderful couple and just all around great people. I am blessed to have them be the parents of my child, and to have them be part of my life. I am glad that the adoption is open and that she will know that I am the one to give birth to her and that I love her so much that I gave her more then I ever could. Well the came up here to where I live on the 9th of Jan, and I met them at th airport and it was just a very happy day for all of us. Two days later I go in to the hospital cause I was in labor. Later that night I gave birth and her mom was in the room for the whole thing and just to see her face when she came out was just pure joy. I dont think I have ever seen someone ever so happy. I know I did the right thing, and yes it has been hard at times but knowing that she is safe and cared for and has amzing parents makes me feel better. She is already 2 weeks old and she is home down south with her mommy and daddy, it was a sad and hard day when they left, but it is better that they dont live so close so I don't try and but in and be her mom. I am glad that I do get to see her via pics and webcam, but I can't wait till next Jan so I can go down there and see her for her 1st birthday.