Monday, August 8, 2011

Update

So it has been forever since I have been on here or have blogged, so I figured that I might want to fill everyone in on whats going on with me. Well first off I am engaged to a great man that I love with all my heart and soul and can not wait to marry him next year. Christopher Reid. We are also expecting a baby boy to be born October 24th. So yes I am pregnant yet again. I am currently still living in fairbanks and working till the baby is due, while chris is in anchorage working and trying to find us a new place to live. I have been getting some updates on addilynn, not to great, and not sure what to think or do. It is hard to think that someone you care for and love so much may have something horribly wrong with them. I guess around 3 month or so from now we will find out if addi is one of few to have a disease called FOP. If you really want to learn about it go to youtube and look up IFOPA. But with everything that is going on I feel like I am just being weighed down by so much I'm not sure what to do anymore. Thanks to being pregnant my emotions are all over the place and I feel like I am bipolar. With chris gone, everything that is going on with addi, money issues, and pregnancy issues. I feel like I am about to break or just full out break down. Shannon had told me once that being a mom,wife, and individual all at once is very hard. I didn't really know what she ment till kinda around now. When you get married and have a family you aren't just mom, or hunny, or (insert name). You are everything and it is not easy. In a way you are like a crazy form of super woman. You have babies, cook, clean, work, pay bills, have your friends/social life. It is not easy but yet we manage to do it everyday. I know I can be me and that I'm ready for this baby, being a wife is going to be a test though. But I am ready for it and look forward to the day when chris and I are together again with our son (rhylin alexander reid) and are a real family. The distance is trying and hard to handle at times, but I love him so much and to much to let it ruin what we have. I have so much respect for the Honest women who are left behind while their men deploy. I look at this as a test, if i am able to make it through this then I can do a deployment. He has been gone for a month and I wont see him till the week I'm due. Then he will leave again and I will be here till he finds us a place and that may take a few months. So in a way that is what it is, a short but almost like it, deployment. If you are still reading this then thank you for reading my little outlet/update.